She Is Leaving
by Goodbyecruelworld
Summary: What did we do that was wrong? How could she leave us so thoughtlessly? How could she do this to me? These questions and more shall be answered...if you read on.


**_Silently closing her bedroom door,  
Leaving the note that she hoped would say more._**

I stood at the top of the stairs, my valise in one hand, my handkerchief clutched tightly in the other. I slowly descended the staircase, wary of each creaking step, hoping no one would hear. I allowed the tears to streak freely down my cheeks. Who was I to deny them their right?

I just couldn't stand it any longer. This was better in the long run. Better for me; better for them. I-I think he felt the same way. The tension over the past few days was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

I bristled when I felt something soft wrap itself around my legs. I let out the breath I'd subconsciously been holding when it turned out to be the cat. I bent down and stroked her affectionately. Making up for lost time. I seemed to have misplaced quite a bit of it, but that didn't matter any more.

I tightened the belt of my overcoat, dreading the harsh world I was about to fling myself into willingly. It wasn't as if I had left without saying goodbye, but I knew that they'd see it that way. I'd left a note I'd hoped would say more than I ever could sum up in words.

**_Stepping outside she is free..._**

I looked around one last time at my childhood home before gently turning the door knob and stepping out into the deserted neighborhood blindly. The darkness seemed to swallow me whole. I looked up into the sky to find that the moon, my only companion was hidden behind a sea of gray, ominous clouds. Even she was disappointed at my thoughtlessness. I opened the gate and slipped out onto the sidewalk with ease, my heels clicking on the cold concrete.

My destination brought back fond memories. Memories of a life that, until then, I never gave a second thought. Maybe I was feeling generous, or maybe I was feeling wistful, but the memories came flooding back, full-speed. I just hoped I would reach it before I drowned.

I stuffed the handkerchief in my pocket and corrected my posture, sniffing quietly and checking my pace. The silhouette of his house caught my eye and I blinked back foolish tears. I shut my eyes and said a silent prayer. I prayed; God, I prayed that he would forgive me...

**_Picks up the letter that's lying there,  
Standing alone at the top of the stairs._**

I was jostled from sleep by the muted light that poured in through the window curtains. I turned to my sister's bed on my left and smiled to see her still gently snoring. I turned to my right and my heart stopped. There was no one beneath the pink comforter.

I woke my sister and together we raced down the stairs, searching for any sign of our missing sibling. She stopped at the coffee table and picked up a folded piece of paper, giving me a meaningful look. I nodded in agreement at the unspoken notion.

We walked back up the stairs, slowly this time, dreading what had to be done. We opened our guardian's door and gently nudged her.

"She's gone." I managed to croak.

Her eyes flew open wide and she ran to the top of the staircase, calling out my sister's name sternly, but to no avail. I gave her the folded note and she read it aloud to us:

"_I'm so sorry it had to come to this.  
But I did what I thought was best. This is better in the long run. For me, and for everyone else.  
Please don't try and find me. I'll come to you, if and when I decide to.  
Please take care of each other for me. And know I love you all.  
Tell him I'm sorry._"

I felt bitter tears sting my eyes. Of all the selfish things she'd done, this had to top it all. My sister covered her face with her hand, crying quietly. I took her into my arms and shushed her quietly. I looked up at my guardian who pulled us both into a bear hug and sobbed hysterically. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and knew I had to be strong. For all of us.

"We need to tell the boys." I said, clearing my throat. They nodded slowly, hanging their heads in despair.

**_Why would she treat us so thoughtlessly?  
How could she do this to me?_**

After she read us the note, I was skeptical. Was this some sort of joke? Why would she leave like this? She's too spoiled to rough it out there, and I told them so.

"She's 'roughed it out there' before and she's strong enough to do it again." My brother pointed out.

I took the note from her and read it over, feeling a lump forming in my throat. She was serious this time.

"How could she?" I asked in a harsh whisper, trying with every ounce of self control I had not to cry my eyes out. They all just shrugged helplessly.

"Excuse me." I walked back up the stairs and walked into my room, throwing myself onto my bed. I shut my eyes and exhaled slowly. It hurt to breathe. I turned over onto my side and let a few tears roll down my cheeks, thinking about the note.

_If and when I decide to_. **_If._** That meant that there was a chance she'd never come back. A chance my heart would never be whole again.

**_She (We never thought of ourselves)  
is leaving (never a thought for ourselves)._**

I strummed my guitar slowly, staring out into space. What else was there to do but wallow in self-pity and misery?

"_If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me. No, baby please don't go. If you leave me now, you'll take away the very heart of me. No, baby please don't go." _I sang hoarsely, barely noticing when my brother walked in and sat beside me.

"Somebody's not taking this very well." He said with a soft smile.

"What was your first clue?" I drawled in a monotone.

"Well, let me think. You're still in your pajamas and it's three in the afternoon." I looked down at my attire and sighed.

"Look, if she really wanted to go, there's no way you could've stopped her if you'd tried." This made me sit up straight.

"You wanna bet? If I'd been there, I would've knocked some sense into that head of hers!" I slammed my fist into my open palm for emphasis.

"No, you wouldn't. You don't have it in you to hurt her." I slumped against my pillow and sighed again.

"You're right. You know what? This is all my fault. I shouldn't have teased her so much." I admitted guiltily.

"Or called her all those names, or pulled all those tricks on her, or..."

"Enough, already! I feel like the biggest jerk on the planet." I groaned, hiding my face.

"Then I'll leave you alone to wallow in guilt." He said with a smirk, walking out the door.

"Sadist!" I called after him.

"Masochist!" He countered, leaving me to ponder the meaning of that word.

**_Waiting to keep the appointment she made  
Meeting a man from the motor trade _**

I wandered around the lot of brand new previously owned cars, waiting for a pesky salesman to show up and take me for a sucker. I held onto my purse closely and examined the stickers on every window.

"Hello, young lady. May I be of assistance?" I turned to see a man flash me a smile that was supposed to make me feel comfortable. It had the opposite effect.

"Yes, I'd like to know what you have in my price range." His smile broadened.

"Well, that depends on your price range."

"Can we keep it under a thousand?" I asked. He nodded enthusiastically and led me to another row of cars.

"This beauty is nine seventy-five. It gets twenty miles to the gallon. A real keeper." I eyed the bright red car with distaste.

"How about this one?" I asked, gesturing to a powder-blue VW Bug. He nodded once again, showing me his nauseatingly pearly whites.

"Of course. But it's a little pricier. It goes over your budget."

"By how much?"

"Oh, about three hundred sixty-seven."

"I'll take it." I exhaled slowly.

**_Something inside that was always denied for so many years..._**

My brothers practically pushed me out the door. They told me I needed to get some fresh air. I'd been avoiding life in my room for about a week and they were sick of it.

I kicked at a pebble, not angry at them, but myself. I kept my eyes on the sidewalk, not feeling the need to enjoy the scenery. A car drove slowly down the street a few blocks behind me. I turned and caught a glimpse of the face that haunted me. My eyes just about popped out of my skull and I ran into the road, like the desperate idiot I was. The car screeched to a halt and it's occupant's jaw dropped.

I rushed forward and put my hands on the hood of the blue bug. She let out her breath and slumped back in her seat.

"Get in." She said sternly, and I did as I was told.

We continued down the street in awkward silence and I wasn't about to break it. Too much had already been broken.

My eyes widened in realization when she parked beneath a large, elaborate tree house. She took her key out of the ignition and got out of the car, not giving me a second glance. I followed her lead and climbed the rope ladder, right after her.

"Why?" Was all I could manage to utter once we were standing face to face in the center of the room. Her eyes clouded over with some hidden emotion.

"You're not the same boy I used to know. I've changed, too. But the combination is lethal." She said, her voice wavering.

"What are you talking about? I'm the same me, and you're the same you." She shook her head.

"Ever since you boys released that album, you're head has practically doubled in size." Her quiet despair turned to rage.

"You're kidding, right? _You're_ the one who can't stop talking about your image!"

"Oh, please! At least I still have time for you!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I never see you any more! You're always with your stupid fan girls. And when we are together, all you do is bite my head off!"

"Where is this coming from? Since when do you care about how much time I spend with fan girls?" I held my arms out defensively.

"Since...since I became one." There was a pause as I let the information sink in. I grinned and walked towards her slowly.

"You're jealous?" I arched a brow.

"N-no...maybe...yes." She admitted quietly. My grin broadened.

"I just knew you were going to do this! You and your obnoxious..." I cut her off by pressing my lips to hers. I felt her muscles relax and her arms wrap around my neck. I pulled away gently to see the fear in her eyes.

"Don't leave me." She whispered quietly. I chuckled softly, brushing her bangs out of her eyes.

"Look who's talking."

**(A/N):** The song is She is Leaving Home by the Beatles. Please review!


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